Letting Someone Go

In construction, it’s a familiar moment: a phone call from a VP, PM, foreman, or operator starts with, “We need to talk.” You already know where it’s heading. Someone’s leaving.

You feel the punch to the gut. Anger, frustration, sadness - maybe even self-doubt.

• What did I do wrong?

• How can we finish this job without them?

• What will Competitor X gain?

• Who else will they take with them?

For years, I got this wrong. Every time someone handed in their resignation, I scrambled to fix it. Counter-offers. Promises. Desperation. Almost every time, they left anyway - if not immediately, then within a year. If your values and compensation are in line, you have little to worry about. Here’s the truth: when someone decides to leave, they’ve already made up their mind. No amount of money or promises will rewrite their internal dialogue. They’ve often thought it through deeply, discussing it with family and friends. 

Lessons From the Field

Let me tell you about a few departures that shaped my thinking:

1. The Foreman Who Wasn’t Ready
   We promoted him too soon, and he struggled with decision-making and communication. When he resigned, I was disappointed but not surprised. A few weeks later, he joined a subcontractor as a field supervisor - and thrived. The speed and size were a better fit. He was happier, and so were we. Sometimes, letting go is the best move for everyone involved.

2. The Arrogant Senior PM
   Smart, talented, and highly profitable - he thought he deserved the world. When he left for more money, we begged him to return. And he did, running a profitable division that we mistakenly credited solely to his genius. But his arrogance undermined our culture, and when competitors encroached, the division faltered. We learned a hard truth: we often over-attribute success to individuals, forgetting market conditions and team efforts. We should have let him go for good.

3. The "Best" Superintendent
   When he left, I feared he’d take our secrets to the competition and steal our people. Instead, we found out he wasn’t as great as we thought. His replacement, someone we’d overlooked, turned out to be a rock star. The competitor got a problem; we discovered a hidden gem. Another lesson: When you take someone out of a strong culture, it’s hard to replicate that elsewhere especially if that person is paddling upstream. It can be done, but it takes years - not months.

4. The Entrepreneurial PM
   He was an awesome project manager with aspirations for leadership. At the time, we didn’t have a role that matched his ambition. He decided to leave and launched a new division for another company. His entrepreneurial spirit was undeniable, and while we couldn’t offer the right fit of building something from Zero to One, he thrived in his new role. He became a standout alumnus of our company, and after a while, we took pride in his continued success.

5. The Boomerang Operator
   Lured away by a raise from $30 to $37, he returned weeks later, humbled by a disorganized company and long nights away from home. His return wasn’t just a win for us - it became a story he shared with the team, reinforcing our values.

The Reality of Resignations

When someone leaves, it’s tempting to react emotionally. But here’s what I’ve learned:

• People join organizations, but they leave leaders.

• Most of what we think in the moment is useless overthinking.

• The best response is respect, grace, and acceptance.

My Evolved Approach

When someone resigns:

1. Accept their decision with dignity.

2. Skip the two-week notice - construction rarely benefits from it.

3. Thank them sincerely.

4. Listen. The best exit interview is letting them speak without rebuttal.

5. Focus on what lies ahead: communication and transition plans.

Most importantly, resist the urge to counter-offer. I have seen it backfire. When someone has mentally checked out, no financial incentive will bring their passion back.

Instead, reflect. Ask yourself:

• What can I control?

• Have I been avoiding problems upstream?

• If I am surprised, how often am I checking in with my team?

• Am I compensating fairly?

• Am I tolerating poor leadership above them?

Sometimes, their departure exposes issues you’ve been ignoring. Fix those, but not to keep someone who’s already gone.

The Bigger Picture

Great companies with strong cultures lose people, too. And that’s okay. People step up when others leave. Often, departures are opportunities in disguise - for growth, reflection, and improvement.

But remember this: most people don’t quit companies - they quit leaders. If you’re losing exceptional people, look upstream. If you’re surprised, revisit how connected you are with your direct reports.

Hopefully, these lessons help you navigate the next “We need to talk” moment.

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About the Author

Tristan Wilson is the CEO and Founder of Edgevanta. We make software that helps contractors win more work at the right price. He is a 4th Generation Contractor, construction enthusiast, ultra runner, and bidding nerd. He worked his way up the ladder at Allan Myers in the Mid-Atlantic and his family’s former business Barriere Construction before starting Edgevanta in Nashville, where the company is based. Reach out to him at [email protected]