"The job is being shut down immediately."

My phone rang. Lunchtime on a widening project. We'd already laid 1,000 tons of base mix - almost a full day's production before noon. The crew was crushing it.

Our general superintendent broke the news: the mix design hadn't been approved by the state lab. Someone had sat on it. We were laying "unapproved" material.

Here's the part that stung: I should have caught this.

I'd been told the JMFs were good to go. But this was a newer mix. I could have picked up the phone and confirmed approval with the lab myself. I could have built a checklist requiring written confirmation before the first truck rolled. I didn't. I trusted the process without verifying it.

That's on me.

I freaked out. Thought I was getting fired. Thought we'd have to rip out everything we'd just put down.

Here's what was actually in my control: Contact the engineer. Get the approval status. Inform the crew. Work like heck to get the design approved the next day. Make sure it doesn’t happen again.

Instead, I spent hours catastrophizing.

The mix got approved. We were fine. And we built a system so it never happened again: a shared checklist lived in our project folder. We owned it. No paving started until the "Lab Approval Confirmed" box had a date, a name, and an email screenshot attached. Simple.

The show went on. But I learned something that day about myself. I was wired to spiral. And it was making me miserable.

The Daily Chaos

Construction will tie you in knots if you let it:

Weather won't cooperate. People don't show up. Engineer sends a shitty email at 4:30 PM on a Friday. GC is pissed because we're a week late due to rain. Inspector keeps cutting tickets short. Sub won't wear PPE. Job is losing money. Your best foreman just got poached.

Every single day, something goes wrong. That's not a bug - it's the job.

I used to let all of it get to me. Every setback, every frustration, every piece of gossip.

The Ancient Answer

Then I discovered Marcus Aurelius and the Stoics.

Most suffering comes from worrying about things outside our control. The path to peace is focusing ruthlessly on what you can control. Let go of everything else.

Same idea in the Serenity Prayer: "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

Same idea in Stephen Covey's circle of influence.

Same idea on the wall of a client’s South Carolina office trailer I visited last year that stopped me in my tracks:

On one side of the door: "Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs."

That's the other half of this equation. Focus on what you control - but hold a high bar while you do it.

On the other side, a list of things you control:

• Your effort

• Your beliefs

• Your actions

• Your attitude

• Your integrity

• Your thoughts

• The food you eat

• How kind you are

• How thoughtful you are

• The type of friend you are

• The information you consume

• The people you surround yourself with

That's the list. The rest is noise.

What Actually Changed

When I finally internalized this, I stopped freaking out. When something went wrong, my first question became: "What's in my control here?" Usually less than I thought - but what remained was clear and actionable.

I got calmer. Not passive - calmer. I still attacked problems. I just stopped wasting energy on parts I couldn't influence.

And I became a better leader - because I could teach others to do the same.

I had a field engineer named Chris who was letting an inspector destroy him. The guy was nitpicky, condescending, and seemed to enjoy failing tests right at quitting time. Chris would come back to the trailer fuming, venting about what an asshole this guy was, how unfair the whole situation was.

One afternoon I pulled him aside. "What can you actually control here?"

He started listing everything the inspector was doing wrong.

"No," I said. "That's what he controls. What do you control?"

He paused. Then: "I guess... I control how prepared I am when he shows up. I control whether I've got all my documentation ready. I control whether I kill him with kindness or let him see he's getting to me."

"Right. So do that. The rest is his problem."

Chris started showing up to inspections over-prepared. Documentation perfect. Professional, calm, almost aggressively polite. The inspector didn't change - but Chris did. The situation stopped eating him alive. He got his power back.

That's the multiplier effect. Teach one person this framework and watch them teach others.

(I talked about this mindset in my video on building big jobs - link below.)

In The Moment

Here's the thing nobody tells you: this is easy to understand and hard to do when your brain is on fire.

The GC is in your face. The inspector just failed your compaction test. Your super is blowing up your phone. You're not thinking about Marcus Aurelius.

What works for me: I take one breath and ask myself a single question. "What's the next right action?"

Not "How do I fix everything?" Not "Whose fault is this?" Just: What's the one next thing I can actually do?

Usually it's small. Make a call. Send a text. Walk over and have a conversation. That one action breaks the spiral. Momentum builds from there.

The Discipline

Another contractor in Florida had this posted next to his desk:

• Being on time

• Work ethic

• Effort

• Body language

• Energy

• Attitude

• Passion

• Being coachable

• Doing extra

• Being prepared

All things you control. Zero things that depend on anyone else.

These contractors get it.

The Bottom Line

You can't control the weather. You can't control the inspector. You can't control whether the state lab sits on your mix design.

You can control your effort. Your attitude. Your preparation. How you respond when things go sideways.

If you're spiraling over something right now, ask yourself: What's actually in my control?

Do that. Let go of the rest.

That's the whole game.

What's on the walls of your trailer or office? Send me a photo - I'd love to see what reminders your team keeps visible. Hit reply with a picture. Best ones get featured in a future newsletter.

Big Jobs YouTube video:

In Case You Missed It:

The Meeting We’re Never Too Busy For (That Saves You Later)

How I Got Six Weeks of My Life Back

Watch the Costs

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About the Author

Tristan Wilson is the CEO and Founder of Edgevanta. We make AI agents for civil estimating. He is a 4th Generation Contractor, construction enthusiast, ultra runner, and bidding nerd. He worked his way up the ladder at Allan Myers in the Mid-Atlantic and his family’s former business Barriere Construction before starting Edgevanta in Nashville, where the company is based. Reach out to him at [email protected]